so it's the weekend. once we're done skating through the rest of this work day, i think i'm gonna be pretty excited to put in a serious session or four this weekend. i think the plan is to not be hypercritical. i want to focus on the things i'm learning, the gaps i want to fill, but i mostly just want to play... not quantity over quality, but i want to put a lot more hands and tournaments in than i have so far, and while i want to do that in a proactive, positive manner, i also don't want to continue to try to adjust and over analyze for now. i want to find my a game and what it looks like for now, and then maybe dive back into analysis during the week.
so i think the plan is to leave this post alone for now, record video and audio if circumstances permit, but focus on applying what i know, not changing or fixing anything, and just trying to get into a good fun groove. i'll probably ease myself into three tables again and see how i feel about it since i won't be trying to annotate anything, just trying to keep an active thought process going into all of my decisions.
in the mean time i have two more hours of "work" to get through. looks like they'll be spent on the 2+2 forums and/or gleaning what i can from sample stox/cr vids til i can get membership hook ups. that and SC2 info.... hm.
i'm also anxious to get back into 6max NL and LHE tables - i think the improvements i've made will really help there. i'm considering reducing my requirements for reincorporating those games. i think we'll see how tonight goes and how i feel about it all.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
wow
for example. today has been RETARDED. i'm LIVID and frustrated out of my MIND. so i'm going to resist the urge to put my roll on the table, and go play CoD4 next door instead.
small steps in the right direction. maybe if i've calmed down later we'll see....
and it's just that easy. a few hours later, some emotional cool down time pwning the shit out of kids at CoD4, some breathing time here at my own computer... i reviewed some stuff from last night, i watched a brief stoxpoker sample clip thing, and i'm in a pretty positive place. plus i have my headphones now, so tuning out my room should be much easier, which is a huge relief. so i think i'm ready to ease into a few hours of positive play.
i think the plan is to ease myself into 3 tables of $1 SnGs. i won't be recording audio, there's a lot going on in the room right now(thank god for these headphones), but i think i'm still just gonna run a video recording and make notes on hand numbers to look at later. so. off we go. active decisions....
mistake one comes early on tbl3, calling a small raise w/ A/J in the SB. i think my blinds are loose out of LHE tendencies. Flop hits A/10/rag, i bet and get popped all in and have to lay down a hand i shouldn't have been involved in in the first place.
get lucky/bailed out of a raise w/ second pair, thought it was likely enough that he didn't have the A. have to look at what made me think that later, it was a weak bet and i raised him all in barely doubling his bet, caught my second pair on the turn.
took down a few pots on tbl1 with no showdown. i want to think later about what this does to my image - situationally these semi-bluffs are obviously not bad plays, but i'm not sure i adjust to my new image correctly once i bitch the same person/people out of maybe three pots in one orbit. i mean, i know i should be looking to turn over a solid hand, but i wonder if i tighten up TOO much, if there's value to be gained by exploiting that style that i'm missing when i do that, or if switching gears intentionally and hard is better. or maybe it's just a style thing and i gotta figure out where i'm comfortable.
tbl2 K/10 button, call pf after two limpers, blinds come along too. hand 10194818188. not sure how to feel about it. knew i shoulda laid down 2 pr when the flush came though it was runner runner and A/K might have played the same way.
wanna tighten up, play more in position, keep my aggression high.
done writing for now....
10194921250 8/10s
songs that i REALLY like put me in a better mood about my play.
i think stress from earlier today is creeping back into my brain. i can feel it making things like totally unreasonable bluffs plausible. good music and conscious thoughts of math help fight this....
gotta figure out what people are talking about with "ahk scrpits". i hear rumors of "auto close lobbies"... would be nice.
2nd miss.
3bb raise from the button (KJo) with 1 limper... 50/100, 5 handed, wanted the raise to be 4x after i made it - wanted a flop less than i was thinking i did.
pushed 10/10 from the BB after button raised - hoping for a call from a weak steal hand, of course he shows AA. flop bailed me out. sick.
10195329481... 5 handed, raised 66 utg... silly? yea. small blind rr strange. laid it down.
feel like i'm in a pretty good groove at the moment. easy decisions for now, and i'm making choices that keep them that way.
A/8 sucks out on my A/J. i played it right and got exactly what i read and was hoping for though. eh. i've done worse to people already tonight though.
10195579780 120/240 5 handed starts to feel like a bit of a squeeze. QK hooks me up with a QQ8 flop, let him bet it into me a couple of times and take down a nice pot with a value raise on the river. breathing a little easier at 120/240.
folded K7s from the button with 1 limper... wanted to raise, didn't think i could steal, didn't want to call but maybe i should have wanted to.
my 88 falls to QK and we're still 4 handed with blinds getting silly soon.
150/300 - just looking for spots to shove my 2.7k and hoping short staks 1.3k disappears soon.
missed a steal opportunity - probably a couple on table 2, vpips of 7, 9, 8 and 40.
kk on tbl 3 bb, sb calls after folds around, i min raise and take it pf. almost certainly shoulda baited it. KK on tbl 2 right after, late pos raise and take it PF again. bleah. right play that time though i think.
200/400 on tbl 1, still just folding around to whoever raises first or splitting pots. still 4 handed.
just got bounced out of 2 other tables on the bubble. A/9 i pushed maybe too aggressively, then paid off an obvious flush with my straight. 1 cash in 5 tourneys. bleah. gonna go breathe and reset.
done for now.
going back to two tables i think. there's a lot of down time, but i feel a whole lot more in control, and can put the time to good use. maybe i do need the time to finish my thoughts for now.
$14.87, 18/13/5
*sigh* was weak and gave into the "one more" urge though i'm clearly getting silly tired right now. opened just one more tournament instead of one more "set" of 3 and resolved to pay attention "for realz" to make up for my registering when i know better. played fine, no hands for a long time, then A/10 got no respect when i raised from one off the button even though it was the first hand i'd played in the first three levels. i bet an A89 flop with 2 diamonds, folded to a raise and reraise, two wound up all in with A/9 losing to the flush that came in. A/9 and K10s to my first raise all game, really? *sigh* alright. fold fold fold and lost in 6th place when my A/J hit top 2 vs bottom set. i feel like these are pretty straight forward hands, but my brain is in a fog, and i don't know if i'm missing a chance to pick up more info. bleah. anyway.
$13.62 17/12/4.5
small steps in the right direction. maybe if i've calmed down later we'll see....
and it's just that easy. a few hours later, some emotional cool down time pwning the shit out of kids at CoD4, some breathing time here at my own computer... i reviewed some stuff from last night, i watched a brief stoxpoker sample clip thing, and i'm in a pretty positive place. plus i have my headphones now, so tuning out my room should be much easier, which is a huge relief. so i think i'm ready to ease into a few hours of positive play.
i think the plan is to ease myself into 3 tables of $1 SnGs. i won't be recording audio, there's a lot going on in the room right now(thank god for these headphones), but i think i'm still just gonna run a video recording and make notes on hand numbers to look at later. so. off we go. active decisions....
mistake one comes early on tbl3, calling a small raise w/ A/J in the SB. i think my blinds are loose out of LHE tendencies. Flop hits A/10/rag, i bet and get popped all in and have to lay down a hand i shouldn't have been involved in in the first place.
get lucky/bailed out of a raise w/ second pair, thought it was likely enough that he didn't have the A. have to look at what made me think that later, it was a weak bet and i raised him all in barely doubling his bet, caught my second pair on the turn.
took down a few pots on tbl1 with no showdown. i want to think later about what this does to my image - situationally these semi-bluffs are obviously not bad plays, but i'm not sure i adjust to my new image correctly once i bitch the same person/people out of maybe three pots in one orbit. i mean, i know i should be looking to turn over a solid hand, but i wonder if i tighten up TOO much, if there's value to be gained by exploiting that style that i'm missing when i do that, or if switching gears intentionally and hard is better. or maybe it's just a style thing and i gotta figure out where i'm comfortable.
tbl2 K/10 button, call pf after two limpers, blinds come along too. hand 10194818188. not sure how to feel about it. knew i shoulda laid down 2 pr when the flush came though it was runner runner and A/K might have played the same way.
wanna tighten up, play more in position, keep my aggression high.
done writing for now....
10194921250 8/10s
songs that i REALLY like put me in a better mood about my play.
i think stress from earlier today is creeping back into my brain. i can feel it making things like totally unreasonable bluffs plausible. good music and conscious thoughts of math help fight this....
gotta figure out what people are talking about with "ahk scrpits". i hear rumors of "auto close lobbies"... would be nice.
2nd miss.
3bb raise from the button (KJo) with 1 limper... 50/100, 5 handed, wanted the raise to be 4x after i made it - wanted a flop less than i was thinking i did.
pushed 10/10 from the BB after button raised - hoping for a call from a weak steal hand, of course he shows AA. flop bailed me out. sick.
10195329481... 5 handed, raised 66 utg... silly? yea. small blind rr strange. laid it down.
feel like i'm in a pretty good groove at the moment. easy decisions for now, and i'm making choices that keep them that way.
A/8 sucks out on my A/J. i played it right and got exactly what i read and was hoping for though. eh. i've done worse to people already tonight though.
10195579780 120/240 5 handed starts to feel like a bit of a squeeze. QK hooks me up with a QQ8 flop, let him bet it into me a couple of times and take down a nice pot with a value raise on the river. breathing a little easier at 120/240.
folded K7s from the button with 1 limper... wanted to raise, didn't think i could steal, didn't want to call but maybe i should have wanted to.
my 88 falls to QK and we're still 4 handed with blinds getting silly soon.
150/300 - just looking for spots to shove my 2.7k and hoping short staks 1.3k disappears soon.
missed a steal opportunity - probably a couple on table 2, vpips of 7, 9, 8 and 40.
kk on tbl 3 bb, sb calls after folds around, i min raise and take it pf. almost certainly shoulda baited it. KK on tbl 2 right after, late pos raise and take it PF again. bleah. right play that time though i think.
200/400 on tbl 1, still just folding around to whoever raises first or splitting pots. still 4 handed.
just got bounced out of 2 other tables on the bubble. A/9 i pushed maybe too aggressively, then paid off an obvious flush with my straight. 1 cash in 5 tourneys. bleah. gonna go breathe and reset.
done for now.
going back to two tables i think. there's a lot of down time, but i feel a whole lot more in control, and can put the time to good use. maybe i do need the time to finish my thoughts for now.
$14.87, 18/13/5
*sigh* was weak and gave into the "one more" urge though i'm clearly getting silly tired right now. opened just one more tournament instead of one more "set" of 3 and resolved to pay attention "for realz" to make up for my registering when i know better. played fine, no hands for a long time, then A/10 got no respect when i raised from one off the button even though it was the first hand i'd played in the first three levels. i bet an A89 flop with 2 diamonds, folded to a raise and reraise, two wound up all in with A/9 losing to the flush that came in. A/9 and K10s to my first raise all game, really? *sigh* alright. fold fold fold and lost in 6th place when my A/J hit top 2 vs bottom set. i feel like these are pretty straight forward hands, but my brain is in a fog, and i don't know if i'm missing a chance to pick up more info. bleah. anyway.
$13.62 17/12/4.5
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Session 1
Alrighty, so i think i wanna come up with some sort of boiler plate for my sessions, but i don't know what all i want to include in it, so for now it's gonna be more random meanderings until i sort all that out.
point is, i'm in a good place tonight i think. i'm in a positive mood, i showered and changed after work, it's quiet, everyone's next door, i'm excited to play, and am sincerely interested in playing well(an easy distinction to make from a frequent "eh, what the hell, i'll look at some hands" attitude that often leads to bored0m-bred curiosity which has on more than one occasion led to, i swear, something like 80/5/0.4 play for most of an hour of micro LHE).
Point being, that's not tonight. So here we go with two $1 SnGs.
I'm gonna go ahead and stagger the start times by maybe 10 minutes or so, 'cuz i find that sometimes these tourneys turn into nit fests and run super long, and it's frustrating to me to have even just two tables at 400/800 with 4 players left.
I want to focus for now on thinking through a hand. I've been particularly short sighted recently, even though i showed a good deal of success when i consciously thought about where a preflop decision would leave me two streets later. for some reason i kinda dropped that.
i also want to stay tight early in these, though i've been intrigued by a differing strategy that may have applied more to MTTs that i may look into later. i think i benefit more from getting a feel for the table without mixing it up too much too early.
so off we go.
i find myself wanting to put in a small raise with 8/9s from mp with one caller. this is silly(though it would have filled a nice boat on the turn this time), i think this comes from my wanting to make this play later in the tournament from later position when it's folded to me, as a semi-bluff blind steal. situationally aware though, and this is an easy laydown this early i think.
sketch play here, find AA utg, flat in hopes of popping a big reraise preflop, but two callers including the BB limp and we see KJ8r flop. BB bets 40 into 200, i pop it to 300 which is enough to put him all in, fold, call, he turns over rags, i take it, but i wanna look at this later. i think i'm okay with this play, but i gotta see where i can get into how much trouble with it. i think maybe i need to know the table a little better and be a little more certain of the probability of a preflop raise before i play this this way.
few hands later 89s from the sb with two limpers i call, 9/j/jr flop, i bet it, bb folds, 1 call 1 fold, turn is a 6 that gives me a flush draw, 1/2 pot it and take a nice pot this early, though i worry about this play too. he'da prolly raised the flop with the j though, right?
20 hands in we're 25/50, lvl 3, i'm sitting on 2290, chiplead. 99 utg, raise. utg+1 calls. 9j5r, bet, raise, reraise all in, call, villain turns over JJ. well. that was fun. maybe if i flat preflop?... no, that can't be right. even if i do i'm still stacked on that flop, i think it goes down the same way. not too worried. it DID escalate silly fast, but i WANT to get stacks in there.
i was just about to say, at 20 hands is when i tell my hud stats to pop up - i mostly just use it to tell who to pay attention to this early - the only stats that register signficantly to me are like vp$ip >75 or < 10, pfr 5 or less or 50 or more and af of less than 1. i don't really adjust to super high af yet except to be a little more cautious as to what i enter pots with. if i feel like most of my value in a hand is coming from c-bets or if i'm out of position i'll try to find a better spot. later in the tournament i'll read a little bit more into the numbers, if he's running 40/20/5 or 10/5/1 i can make small situational adjustments.
anyway, while this has been good, i think i'm gonna try to find recording software so i can focus a little more on the game, and comment audibly to annotate my thought process and leave written analysis to later - while analyzing does force thought process, writing it out takes time and detracts from my table a bit.
so. i'm off to find some software and continue playing, i'll update this post at the end of this session when i can go back with PT3 and replay hands exactly.
$14.62
edit
okay, so. fun stuff. got camstudio to record sessions, and prism video converter to change the HUGE .avis to a hopefully more manageable .wmv or something. made a 62 minute video of me talking myself through 2 SnGs, tagged a few hands that i wanted to reexamine, happy fun stuff.
talking through hands is definitely one of the most monumentally helpful things i've done. hearing myself say "i dont' know" is a pretty enjoyably obvious indicator to reexamine a particular situation later and learn what the hell is going on and what i should be looking at. talking in general also ensures i'm actually USING a thought process, which, y'know. helps.
also happy about coming in 2nd and 1st in those two SnGs. so. 3 SnGs down, i'm running at 20/15/9. less than 200 hands, but a step in a positive direction i think.
so. all i have to do is figure out a way to not look like a crazy person sitting here talking at my computer while playing 2 poker tables, saying things like "and here i'd like to raise but i don't think i can justify it..."
anyway, not much poker, but a lot of poker related things accomplished, and i think i gotta call it a night at that after i figure out a few more things with this video. i'd really like to figure out how where i can go to talk to myself and not seem crazy.... in the mean time another plus is, when i'm in one of those "bored poker inclination" moods i think these videos will suffice for poker input without bankroll risk. hooray.
$19.32
(these numbers will be more relevant later down the road, i just want to get used to posting them regularly... part of the whole keeping me honest thing)
point is, i'm in a good place tonight i think. i'm in a positive mood, i showered and changed after work, it's quiet, everyone's next door, i'm excited to play, and am sincerely interested in playing well(an easy distinction to make from a frequent "eh, what the hell, i'll look at some hands" attitude that often leads to bored0m-bred curiosity which has on more than one occasion led to, i swear, something like 80/5/0.4 play for most of an hour of micro LHE).
Point being, that's not tonight. So here we go with two $1 SnGs.
I'm gonna go ahead and stagger the start times by maybe 10 minutes or so, 'cuz i find that sometimes these tourneys turn into nit fests and run super long, and it's frustrating to me to have even just two tables at 400/800 with 4 players left.
I want to focus for now on thinking through a hand. I've been particularly short sighted recently, even though i showed a good deal of success when i consciously thought about where a preflop decision would leave me two streets later. for some reason i kinda dropped that.
i also want to stay tight early in these, though i've been intrigued by a differing strategy that may have applied more to MTTs that i may look into later. i think i benefit more from getting a feel for the table without mixing it up too much too early.
so off we go.
i find myself wanting to put in a small raise with 8/9s from mp with one caller. this is silly(though it would have filled a nice boat on the turn this time), i think this comes from my wanting to make this play later in the tournament from later position when it's folded to me, as a semi-bluff blind steal. situationally aware though, and this is an easy laydown this early i think.
sketch play here, find AA utg, flat in hopes of popping a big reraise preflop, but two callers including the BB limp and we see KJ8r flop. BB bets 40 into 200, i pop it to 300 which is enough to put him all in, fold, call, he turns over rags, i take it, but i wanna look at this later. i think i'm okay with this play, but i gotta see where i can get into how much trouble with it. i think maybe i need to know the table a little better and be a little more certain of the probability of a preflop raise before i play this this way.
few hands later 89s from the sb with two limpers i call, 9/j/jr flop, i bet it, bb folds, 1 call 1 fold, turn is a 6 that gives me a flush draw, 1/2 pot it and take a nice pot this early, though i worry about this play too. he'da prolly raised the flop with the j though, right?
20 hands in we're 25/50, lvl 3, i'm sitting on 2290, chiplead. 99 utg, raise. utg+1 calls. 9j5r, bet, raise, reraise all in, call, villain turns over JJ. well. that was fun. maybe if i flat preflop?... no, that can't be right. even if i do i'm still stacked on that flop, i think it goes down the same way. not too worried. it DID escalate silly fast, but i WANT to get stacks in there.
i was just about to say, at 20 hands is when i tell my hud stats to pop up - i mostly just use it to tell who to pay attention to this early - the only stats that register signficantly to me are like vp$ip >75 or < 10, pfr 5 or less or 50 or more and af of less than 1. i don't really adjust to super high af yet except to be a little more cautious as to what i enter pots with. if i feel like most of my value in a hand is coming from c-bets or if i'm out of position i'll try to find a better spot. later in the tournament i'll read a little bit more into the numbers, if he's running 40/20/5 or 10/5/1 i can make small situational adjustments.
anyway, while this has been good, i think i'm gonna try to find recording software so i can focus a little more on the game, and comment audibly to annotate my thought process and leave written analysis to later - while analyzing does force thought process, writing it out takes time and detracts from my table a bit.
so. i'm off to find some software and continue playing, i'll update this post at the end of this session when i can go back with PT3 and replay hands exactly.
$14.62
edit
okay, so. fun stuff. got camstudio to record sessions, and prism video converter to change the HUGE .avis to a hopefully more manageable .wmv or something. made a 62 minute video of me talking myself through 2 SnGs, tagged a few hands that i wanted to reexamine, happy fun stuff.
talking through hands is definitely one of the most monumentally helpful things i've done. hearing myself say "i dont' know" is a pretty enjoyably obvious indicator to reexamine a particular situation later and learn what the hell is going on and what i should be looking at. talking in general also ensures i'm actually USING a thought process, which, y'know. helps.
also happy about coming in 2nd and 1st in those two SnGs. so. 3 SnGs down, i'm running at 20/15/9. less than 200 hands, but a step in a positive direction i think.
so. all i have to do is figure out a way to not look like a crazy person sitting here talking at my computer while playing 2 poker tables, saying things like "and here i'd like to raise but i don't think i can justify it..."
anyway, not much poker, but a lot of poker related things accomplished, and i think i gotta call it a night at that after i figure out a few more things with this video. i'd really like to figure out how where i can go to talk to myself and not seem crazy.... in the mean time another plus is, when i'm in one of those "bored poker inclination" moods i think these videos will suffice for poker input without bankroll risk. hooray.
$19.32
(these numbers will be more relevant later down the road, i just want to get used to posting them regularly... part of the whole keeping me honest thing)
First Post...Hooray
So here's me making a continued and concerted effort towards at least one of my new year's resolutions: Consistently Profitable Poker. It's a goal i know is attainable, and one that i'm not even that far from, really, but this blog is necessary for a lot of reasons.
I'm capable of good play. I have hands that i have logged and analyzed in which i show some pretty amazing insight and made some very good plays that i would not have even known i didn't know a year ago. Not to brag, but those situations just feel really good. At the same time I have leaks; i know i do. I've closed one or two in just the past few weeks, but i feel that others just GAPE for now. On top of which, I STILL tilt at times. My "Money Won/Hands Played" graph looks like an M right now with my break even line splitting the middle rather nicely. I know some of these downturns are variance and horrendous beats that I'm destined to see at the stakes at which i'm playing for now. I also know that the downturns are much longer because after these beats my play sometimes deteriorates to a disgusting degree.
I'm not going to analyze anything this post, just introduce. So i'm going to be writing here to force even more honesty on myself about my game than i've allowed since the new year. Aiding me will be PT3 stats and hand replays and the like.
Some goals...
For reasons that shall be put behind me for now, i stand with approx $15 in my full tilt account(my bad, $15.87).
This puts me back into $1 SnG territory for now. I have played these almost perfectly break even over 130 tournaments. PT3 shows a slight loss, but that's because it doesn't know how to read the 4 HORSE tournaments i entered, 3 of which i cashed in. Of the 130 Hold 'Em tournaments I've bought paid $162.50 in buy ins and neted $152.
My intention is to play the $1 NL SnGs until maybe $50 at which point i may try to reincorporate 6max micro stakes NL and/or LHE, after that point i'll establish/stick to approx the 20 buy in rule as far as moving up in limits.
This is because i know(or at least perceive) myself to be more proficient at NL SnGs and LHE 6max than other game types for now. Also PT3 has no idea what to do with HORSE tables and the like, so i feel there may be more benefit in focusing on improving my Hold 'Em for now and adapting those lessons to my other games at a later date. This will also give me a chance to focus on one game at a time and hopefully really lock down my SnG game.
Money is tight for now, and my schedule is crazy, but i'm kinda close to being able to hit up a CardRunners or StoxPoker membership via Full Tilt points, and intend to take advantage of that as soon as would be reasonable(if i don't have internet for 2 weeks, spending 5k points on a one month membership would be frustrating).
along with this clean slate idea i exported and purged my PT3 database. It's there to look at later, but i've spent a lot of time looking at those numbers already and know the adjustments i want to make - i want to be able to see myself truly commit to those.
A big part of my goal with all of this is to gain control over my mental game. It's been a huge hurdle for me, honestly. I play poker for a lot of reasons. Sometimes I play when i'm bored, sometimes i play when i'm drunk, sometimes i play when i'm frustrated, sometimes i play when i have an hour to kill, sometimes i play when i have 10 minutes to kill, sometimes i load up a table because i'm pretty sure i have enough time for two orbits of 6max.
I know for a pretty solid fact about... 20% of the time that i log into my FT account, i'm in the right place mentally to play solid poker. that isn't to say that all those other sessions are guaranteed to be losing sessions, bare minimal decisions can be profitable where i play, but bare minimal decisions combined with distraction, frustration, or worse than usual luck can't. I feel like all that and focus, can. I feel like i can happily limit myself to freerolls on any site when i'm just "in the mood to see some hands", but my brain is miles away from the table.
I need to buy earphones. My room is distracting as hell. I need to limit myself to 4 tables MAX , realistically 2 until i get a hold on just how distracted i get from my tables. I will listen to music, but i won't watch videos while i play any more, again, until i get a hold on how much distraction detracts from solid play.
Especially since i've limited myself to SnGs for the time being, i'll only play when i'm pretty sure i have a few hours to sit down and really play.
My life is still pretty well balanced, though i acknowledge that as an important factor and intend to evaluate it on occasion. My social life has never taken a 2nd seat to my FT account, though i have been working on developing a secondary and/or tertiary hobby so as to ensure that poker isn't my only "true down time" activity. I'm into two really good books at the moment, i've been getting back into Go and i've been making myself play video games with the kids next door on occasion. I get exercise every day out of necessity 'cuz of my job, so.
I need to find rakeback/some sort of rake compensation. For this reason i think my next deposit will be at Poker Stars if i think i've been able to devote enough time to log enough volume of hands to make that worthwhile(FT says(bullshit) that i signed up through an affiliate to their site, and giving me rakeback anywhere would violate their agreement with that affiliate... so).
Okay so this has sort of been a meandering brain dump of a first post, but those are the general ideas. Hopefully i'll get to log a good session tonight(though i have a really long errand to take care of first) and post some hands and start on a reasonable path down my poker journey here, and be able to give this blog some direction and focus.
$15.87
I'm capable of good play. I have hands that i have logged and analyzed in which i show some pretty amazing insight and made some very good plays that i would not have even known i didn't know a year ago. Not to brag, but those situations just feel really good. At the same time I have leaks; i know i do. I've closed one or two in just the past few weeks, but i feel that others just GAPE for now. On top of which, I STILL tilt at times. My "Money Won/Hands Played" graph looks like an M right now with my break even line splitting the middle rather nicely. I know some of these downturns are variance and horrendous beats that I'm destined to see at the stakes at which i'm playing for now. I also know that the downturns are much longer because after these beats my play sometimes deteriorates to a disgusting degree.
I'm not going to analyze anything this post, just introduce. So i'm going to be writing here to force even more honesty on myself about my game than i've allowed since the new year. Aiding me will be PT3 stats and hand replays and the like.
Some goals...
For reasons that shall be put behind me for now, i stand with approx $15 in my full tilt account(my bad, $15.87).
This puts me back into $1 SnG territory for now. I have played these almost perfectly break even over 130 tournaments. PT3 shows a slight loss, but that's because it doesn't know how to read the 4 HORSE tournaments i entered, 3 of which i cashed in. Of the 130 Hold 'Em tournaments I've bought paid $162.50 in buy ins and neted $152.
My intention is to play the $1 NL SnGs until maybe $50 at which point i may try to reincorporate 6max micro stakes NL and/or LHE, after that point i'll establish/stick to approx the 20 buy in rule as far as moving up in limits.
This is because i know(or at least perceive) myself to be more proficient at NL SnGs and LHE 6max than other game types for now. Also PT3 has no idea what to do with HORSE tables and the like, so i feel there may be more benefit in focusing on improving my Hold 'Em for now and adapting those lessons to my other games at a later date. This will also give me a chance to focus on one game at a time and hopefully really lock down my SnG game.
Money is tight for now, and my schedule is crazy, but i'm kinda close to being able to hit up a CardRunners or StoxPoker membership via Full Tilt points, and intend to take advantage of that as soon as would be reasonable(if i don't have internet for 2 weeks, spending 5k points on a one month membership would be frustrating).
along with this clean slate idea i exported and purged my PT3 database. It's there to look at later, but i've spent a lot of time looking at those numbers already and know the adjustments i want to make - i want to be able to see myself truly commit to those.
A big part of my goal with all of this is to gain control over my mental game. It's been a huge hurdle for me, honestly. I play poker for a lot of reasons. Sometimes I play when i'm bored, sometimes i play when i'm drunk, sometimes i play when i'm frustrated, sometimes i play when i have an hour to kill, sometimes i play when i have 10 minutes to kill, sometimes i load up a table because i'm pretty sure i have enough time for two orbits of 6max.
I know for a pretty solid fact about... 20% of the time that i log into my FT account, i'm in the right place mentally to play solid poker. that isn't to say that all those other sessions are guaranteed to be losing sessions, bare minimal decisions can be profitable where i play, but bare minimal decisions combined with distraction, frustration, or worse than usual luck can't. I feel like all that and focus, can. I feel like i can happily limit myself to freerolls on any site when i'm just "in the mood to see some hands", but my brain is miles away from the table.
I need to buy earphones. My room is distracting as hell. I need to limit myself to 4 tables MAX , realistically 2 until i get a hold on just how distracted i get from my tables. I will listen to music, but i won't watch videos while i play any more, again, until i get a hold on how much distraction detracts from solid play.
Especially since i've limited myself to SnGs for the time being, i'll only play when i'm pretty sure i have a few hours to sit down and really play.
My life is still pretty well balanced, though i acknowledge that as an important factor and intend to evaluate it on occasion. My social life has never taken a 2nd seat to my FT account, though i have been working on developing a secondary and/or tertiary hobby so as to ensure that poker isn't my only "true down time" activity. I'm into two really good books at the moment, i've been getting back into Go and i've been making myself play video games with the kids next door on occasion. I get exercise every day out of necessity 'cuz of my job, so.
I need to find rakeback/some sort of rake compensation. For this reason i think my next deposit will be at Poker Stars if i think i've been able to devote enough time to log enough volume of hands to make that worthwhile(FT says(bullshit) that i signed up through an affiliate to their site, and giving me rakeback anywhere would violate their agreement with that affiliate... so).
Okay so this has sort of been a meandering brain dump of a first post, but those are the general ideas. Hopefully i'll get to log a good session tonight(though i have a really long errand to take care of first) and post some hands and start on a reasonable path down my poker journey here, and be able to give this blog some direction and focus.
$15.87
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