wow

for example. today has been RETARDED. i'm LIVID and frustrated out of my MIND. so i'm going to resist the urge to put my roll on the table, and go play CoD4 next door instead.

small steps in the right direction. maybe if i've calmed down later we'll see....


and it's just that easy. a few hours later, some emotional cool down time pwning the shit out of kids at CoD4, some breathing time here at my own computer... i reviewed some stuff from last night, i watched a brief stoxpoker sample clip thing, and i'm in a pretty positive place. plus i have my headphones now, so tuning out my room should be much easier, which is a huge relief. so i think i'm ready to ease into a few hours of positive play.

i think the plan is to ease myself into 3 tables of $1 SnGs. i won't be recording audio, there's a lot going on in the room right now(thank god for these headphones), but i think i'm still just gonna run a video recording and make notes on hand numbers to look at later. so. off we go. active decisions....

mistake one comes early on tbl3, calling a small raise w/ A/J in the SB. i think my blinds are loose out of LHE tendencies. Flop hits A/10/rag, i bet and get popped all in and have to lay down a hand i shouldn't have been involved in in the first place.

get lucky/bailed out of a raise w/ second pair, thought it was likely enough that he didn't have the A. have to look at what made me think that later, it was a weak bet and i raised him all in barely doubling his bet, caught my second pair on the turn.

took down a few pots on tbl1 with no showdown. i want to think later about what this does to my image - situationally these semi-bluffs are obviously not bad plays, but i'm not sure i adjust to my new image correctly once i bitch the same person/people out of maybe three pots in one orbit. i mean, i know i should be looking to turn over a solid hand, but i wonder if i tighten up TOO much, if there's value to be gained by exploiting that style that i'm missing when i do that, or if switching gears intentionally and hard is better. or maybe it's just a style thing and i gotta figure out where i'm comfortable.

tbl2 K/10 button, call pf after two limpers, blinds come along too. hand 10194818188. not sure how to feel about it. knew i shoulda laid down 2 pr when the flush came though it was runner runner and A/K might have played the same way.

wanna tighten up, play more in position, keep my aggression high.

done writing for now....

10194921250 8/10s

songs that i REALLY like put me in a better mood about my play.

i think stress from earlier today is creeping back into my brain. i can feel it making things like totally unreasonable bluffs plausible. good music and conscious thoughts of math help fight this....

gotta figure out what people are talking about with "ahk scrpits". i hear rumors of "auto close lobbies"... would be nice.

2nd miss.

3bb raise from the button (KJo) with 1 limper... 50/100, 5 handed, wanted the raise to be 4x after i made it - wanted a flop less than i was thinking i did.

pushed 10/10 from the BB after button raised - hoping for a call from a weak steal hand, of course he shows AA. flop bailed me out. sick.

10195329481... 5 handed, raised 66 utg... silly? yea. small blind rr strange. laid it down.

feel like i'm in a pretty good groove at the moment. easy decisions for now, and i'm making choices that keep them that way.

A/8 sucks out on my A/J. i played it right and got exactly what i read and was hoping for though. eh. i've done worse to people already tonight though.

10195579780 120/240 5 handed starts to feel like a bit of a squeeze. QK hooks me up with a QQ8 flop, let him bet it into me a couple of times and take down a nice pot with a value raise on the river. breathing a little easier at 120/240.

folded K7s from the button with 1 limper... wanted to raise, didn't think i could steal, didn't want to call but maybe i should have wanted to.

my 88 falls to QK and we're still 4 handed with blinds getting silly soon.

150/300 - just looking for spots to shove my 2.7k and hoping short staks 1.3k disappears soon.

missed a steal opportunity - probably a couple on table 2, vpips of 7, 9, 8 and 40.

kk on tbl 3 bb, sb calls after folds around, i min raise and take it pf. almost certainly shoulda baited it. KK on tbl 2 right after, late pos raise and take it PF again. bleah. right play that time though i think.

200/400 on tbl 1, still just folding around to whoever raises first or splitting pots. still 4 handed.

just got bounced out of 2 other tables on the bubble. A/9 i pushed maybe too aggressively, then paid off an obvious flush with my straight. 1 cash in 5 tourneys. bleah. gonna go breathe and reset.

done for now.

going back to two tables i think. there's a lot of down time, but i feel a whole lot more in control, and can put the time to good use. maybe i do need the time to finish my thoughts for now.

$14.87, 18/13/5

*sigh* was weak and gave into the "one more" urge though i'm clearly getting silly tired right now. opened just one more tournament instead of one more "set" of 3 and resolved to pay attention "for realz" to make up for my registering when i know better. played fine, no hands for a long time, then A/10 got no respect when i raised from one off the button even though it was the first hand i'd played in the first three levels. i bet an A89 flop with 2 diamonds, folded to a raise and reraise, two wound up all in with A/9 losing to the flush that came in. A/9 and K10s to my first raise all game, really? *sigh* alright. fold fold fold and lost in 6th place when my A/J hit top 2 vs bottom set. i feel like these are pretty straight forward hands, but my brain is in a fog, and i don't know if i'm missing a chance to pick up more info. bleah. anyway.

$13.62 17/12/4.5